Proverds 3:5-11

Since November, Silas has battled a cough. Really we have all had it, but our little man has been coughing off and on for months. Today, as I was feeding him before his nap, I realized his lungs were full of gunk. He needed to clear it so he could breath more freely. Being a little guy, he just wasn't doing it naturally. I thought to myself should I take his bottle away and let him cry a minute. Gazing at his little hands, watching him clutch my finger, seeing heavy eyes begin to fall into a soft, quiet slumber, I realized, he needs my help to clear those lungs. He seems content and close to sleep. I didn't want to disturb his comfortable, cozy state. I wanted to tell him, "Silas, I need to take the bottle away, let you cry and your lungs will breathe with more ease." But he is too little to understand. I make the decision to take away his bottle, stir a little cry and help him clear his lungs. As he cried for his satisfying bottle, his lung began to clear.

God knows my heart need to be cleared of gunk. Often the gunk builds and I learn to live with it. Over time, I don't notice it anymore. Out of His deep love and care, God has taken away comfort so that He can clear the gunk in my heart, so I can indeed be refreshed with His love and grace. I am realizing more each day that moving has been a gunk revealing process for me.

And so,Proverbs 3:5-8 comes to mind:
"Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Continues with Proverbs 3:11 My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, the the reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son whom he delights."

Today, I am grateful for God's great love to discipline and reproof this gunky heart.

Beauty in Caring for Another

I don't think I realized just how sweet it would be to watch your little ones love and care for each other. I am seeing it all over the place these days in our home. Sometimes, I just hold back tears of gratitude when I observe little ones learning about the joy of giving love and receiving it. When life slows down, it is so much more vivid and there are so many more opportunities for this growth to take place.
Grateful for....
*a brother who reads to his sister before bed
*a sister who looks out the window with her baby brother in wonder as they watch the wind blow in the trees
*a big brother and sister who approach baby brother with unabashed excitement after school
*the mornings when big brother and sister rock the baby with books in hand
*watching little hands hold little hands across the grass with tight grips

Grateful for the beauty that comes from slowed time and caring siblings.

Pure Sweetness

Picking grapefruit during the winter has got to be one of the gifts to living in Arizona. The kids are so proud of their harvest finds and our breakfast table always has fruit upon it! This particular trees seems to keep giving. We are thankful!

New Things Learned

So proud of you Titus for trying new things these days. You have NEVER been interested in basketball. You have given it a try and you are awesome! You not only do you run like the wind but can dribble doing it.

I love watching you practice shooting from the kitchen window. Lately, I need to rub my eyes and take a second look. The ball that once seemed to be your enemy and cause you such frustration is now your friend. Somehow you worked that out.... you are one determined little boy!

Other new things we are all trying....
*Tali is doing ballet ( a little slow for this cheerleader, high kicking girl) and has learned to roller blade
*Titus is doing Hip Hop and has learned soccer
* I have perfected the chocolate chip cookie (thanks Kray) and am cooking yummy meals
*Tim is working out and doing lawn work
*Silas is standing, waving bye-bye AND taking steps
*Silas is giving the sweet open mouth kisses and pat pats

Today, I am grateful for new things learned!

Reflections on Moving

I can hardly believe we have been in a new state for 8 months. It has been one of the hardest seasons in my life and honestly I have not handled it well and I am fully aware of this!

I am not sure how one leaves best friends, or the familiar sights and experiences of the day to day. I am not sure how one is to move from one life into another. How do you leave behind friendships that nurtured your soul, or families that loved your children, I don't know. I don't know how you leave behind a wonderfully full life and enter into a different, lonely quiet life.

Strangly, one moment I am being brought cookies from a dear friend, kids are dropped off from playing, friends call and move throughout my day to day and the next moment I am staring out my windows into a yard void of familiarity, I am lost in the traffic on hot, dry, lonely trip to the store. Moving is strange like that. One moment life is rich and full of so much and the next, you realize you are entering into an unknown that will press hard on you. It will make you plead for God's grace and mercy daily. It will bring you to your knees in prayer over the loneliness you have as you desire for just one person to reach out and invite you into their life. Moving for this girl has not been easy.

But in all the heartache, I must recognize amazing graces that we have seen along the way....
*The day after we moved in, neighbors welcomed us warmly (even set up a snowcone stand when it was 115 degrees, my boy loves selling things and stands of any sort make him happy)
*The day we had to move back in (after a terrible move out of the house into a hotel), neighbors welcomed us warmly
*Our yard is full of trees and adventures!
*In the quietness of my day I have learned to cook and actually prepare good meals for dinner
*The kids have wonderful teachers who have handled their hearts and minds with care
*Neighbor children play in, out and around our house daily (we aren't really alone)
*I have found a grocery store that has flowers for my table top
*With a small social life, I have learned to enjoy the simplicity of mothering and especially the joys of spending my days with a 10 month old boy

Finally, we have a beautiful weeping, whimsical tree that Tim put a swing on. We sit on this wooden swing and life slows.... we slow, it's magical like that. Swinging on this swing attached to the arms of this magnificent tree can bring such delight! Even the deathly hot sun peaking through the wispy branches cannot disturb us while we sit upon the swing. Finally peace, finally calm and a new familiarity awakens.

My 10 monther

Oh, my little buddy! Words can not express the joy you bring to my day to day! You are an explorer which keeps me busy BUT your laugh and smiles are such a gift! Right now you are standing, eating everything (you aren't picky at all), I know you are awake from your naps because you jump up and down in your squeaky crib, you love listening to birds and find such delight in eating rocks. Dadadadada is your favorite phrase and finding mommies nose makes you laugh. You know, "so big," and all done with your hands. You aren't fond of other crying babies, or screams but none of us are. You're reminding each of us what it is like to see the world so simply, with such fascination and wonder over dogs barking, birds chirping, trucks driving by, the wind on your face, splashing water in the bathtub, banging cupboards, clapping hands and the dancing shadows from the trees.

Packing Up!

I can't quite remember taking these pictures. A move is funny like that. There is so much going on, I felt like I lost track of minutes, hours and even days. It is all a blur. But the pictures prove that we did indeed pack up! Silas is 4 months old!