Settled..

This word follows me around daily these past two years. This simple sign with the letters that spell out Settled sits simply at my sink (thank you Kristen for this tangible way to continue my wrestling's with this word), and because I spend much time at the sink and perhaps because I feel so unsettled in many ways in where God has me, I continue to ponder this word and pray through how it impacts my life daily.

For quite some time,  I had a false sense of being settled.  A cozy home, many friends, happy children and a happy conveniently interrupted life. I don't know how these things became more important than God but they did.  But in the past two years, a much deeper lesson of being Settled is taking root.  And today, as I read about Palm Sunday and prepare for the Holy Week with my children, I couldn't help but think that Christ was never settled in the false God's of this world (comfort, popularity, wealth, happiness, beauty and safety).  In fact, in a matter of not just a lifetime but his last week of life, he experienced friendship, betrayal, popularity, rejection, beauty and ugliness, feasting and hunger and ultimately life, death and life again. And while this is an obvious, simple reflection it is truly uncomfortable and painful to think about.  For many years, I was not settled in Christ alone but rather the comfort, beauty and happiness I created. Somehow I took what was beautiful and a gift from God and distorted them into my God.  It wasn't until they were taken away that I realized this.  This is so far from  Christ's  purpose for his people on this earth that it's painful and uncomfortable to reflect on this lately.  Christ walked this earth loved, hated, selfless, betrayed, beautiful, ugly, beaten and then ultimately killed.  He could not help but be Settled only in His father.

I know it is a gift to be stretched to such measure where all of idols surface, all pleasures, all expectations, all hopes of happiness and ease are laid at the foot of the cross.  Settled, yes, you drive me crazy, you make me cry, you make me angry, you make me question my faith, you make me want to justify ease and comfort but ultimately you are God's sweet reminder that I must set aside all else to rest and Settle in my Father. 

In Christ Alone by Stuart Townsend

Is Christ Alone In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand

Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand