Part 2

As, the summer continued to move on, strangely life continued on in it's normal fashion. I remember thinking how odd it was to be living our day to day with people and places so familiar and yet knowing that shortly things would be very different.

Tim and I searched for a home all during the month of July. We visited Arizona twice, Tim actually made three trips. It was the dead of summer, I was nursing a little one and pumping to keep motherhood normal. Home after home we entered and it just didn't feel right. Finally, while Tim was on one of his trips without me, he settled on a rental. At this point, I was so exhausted, numb and unable to make one more decision so I it was perfect. And then of course it fell through. Tim and I were back on a plane looking for a home.

I will never forget the day we found our home. We had seen it weeks before for a lot more money, it was occupied and cluttered. Nathan said we should give it one last try. It was pouring down rain! Dark looming clouds and the smell of wet cement as I stepped out of the car. I walked into the house and started crying (again). This was the house! We were done looking, it was the one. I hadn't noticed many things about the house at the time and could never have imagined that it would house the memories of a babies first year, children playing endlessly in the yard, a mother's loneliness, a couples arguing, a place of peace and refuge. No, none of this could be imagined.

As we were exiting our driveway, two of our neighbors were gathered outside. I made Tim pull over (almost run them over) as I wanted to meet them and ask if there were kids in the area. Much to my surprise there were kids, lots of kids! My heart settled a minute and for a minute I gave thanks.

After gathering little information, I realized the local public school would not be the best for our kids. I started my research. Many schools were full! I had narrowed our possibilities down to 2 schools that the next day I would go look at and register for. I knew I wasn't going to be back over the next two weeks, so this was my time to get things done. I had one day!

Looking back at the crazy movement of events is almost painful BUT so necesary. God had closed doors only for others to be opened. God knew where my kids needed to be in school, He knew the neighborhood we needed to be in for this tough transition.

And though I fought it daily, and though I was angry with Tim for the move, I was aware that God was at least holding us up through all this.

In one weekend, our home was chosen, our kids school was chosen and we knew there were kids in the neighborhood. Now, I was going to be facing two crazy weeks of packing, saying goodbyes and doing my best to remind myself and the kids that God has us all in the palm of Hands, He would carry us through. I said this with much doubt, with much hesitation but realized I had to trust Him. I had to trust that God would not leave us through this.

Was my God big enough to handle all these details? Yes! Was I willing to move forward with faith and joy, No!

Gratefully, this story was not written by Tim or myself. Gratefully there was a God who desired to make the ugliest untrusting heart new. But I didn't know it yet.